I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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