I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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