Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
