Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
