Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
