What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
