Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think I sprained my soul last night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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