I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if only i could text you this smell
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
