i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
