i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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