Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
