My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
