When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
