You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
