guys are not supposed to queef...right?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My vagina is officially offended.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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