dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
