I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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