okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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