awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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