I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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