It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm really busy with my period
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