More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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