you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
