I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
