Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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