she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
