nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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