i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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