i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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