My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
