imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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