saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
