just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
