at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Umm I'm too high to move.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
