If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
