Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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