so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
