What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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