Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
