The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
