then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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