she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize