It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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