I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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