So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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