The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
