He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
