he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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