The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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