im about as happy as oj after his trial
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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